Some of you might be breathing a sigh of relief to find that this is a “My Thoughts” and not a “Casabloga”. No, I do not consider them the greatest movies of all time. Unfortunately, neither are the original trilogy, as none will be making my Calabloga list. At least not that I know of. I add to that list everyday. Now the future entries list is twice as long as the current posted list. I will say there’s an unexpected trilogy on the way. I hinted at that in my Back to the Future review.
Anyway, I must start this by saying that while I don’t find these movies to be the greatest, I don’t hate them as much as others do. I agree, they are terrible, but I don’t hate them. They could definitely be better. George Lucas should not have directed them.
I am here today to explain why they are not total garage. Well, not explain… I doubt I will convince anyone here tonight. But I will do something I never see anyone doing on the internet; I will be defending the Star Wars prequels
I grew up watching the original films. Even when I was little, I wondered what happened before them. Darth Vader kept making references to “last time” he and Obi-Wan met. So when I heard they were doing the prequals, I was excited. I was 10 when I saw Phantom Menace in theatre. I absolutely loved it, and I was Darth Maul for Halloween that year.
That’s me, age 11, on Halloween 1999. It’s also a picture of the original because a few years ago all my old photographs received water damage. Some look really bad. Yes, this looks good in compared to this. And yes, Darth Maul is wearing a D. A. R. E. shirt.
Anyway, the point is that as a kid, I absolutely loved this movie. When Attack of the Clones came out in 2002, I saw that in theatres as well. I enjoyed it, but by then I was older and could tell that something was a bit off about it. I loved the scene when Anakin and Padme were in the factory mill place and they were dodging all the CGI. R2 flying made me go, “YAY!! I DON’T KNOW WHY HE NEVER DID THAT BEFORE, BUT YAY!!”
I didn’t see Revenge of the
Fallen Sith in theatres. My sister bought the DVD that Christmas. The first thing I noticed was that Padme was reduced to an annoying whiny….annoyance. In the first movie, she led troops into battle. The second movie, she was in the front lines of The Clone Wars (well, the beginning of the war). In the first film she stays home and mopes. I hated that my first time watching it. I hate even more every time I see it. On top of that, Hayden’s dreadful performance as Anakin-turning-evil was….dreadful. Just….totally awful. “DON’T MAKE ME DESTROY YOU!!!!!!!!!”. My sisters and I watched it laughing,. That’s not the emotion we should be feeling in that moment on the lava planet (or was it a Moon?).
Or did it even happen? The way I see it, either the prequels were a bad dream or Obi-Wan is senile in his old age. When I watch the original trilogy, there’s things he says that make me go, “What?! That’s not what happened!!”. Like when he says, “Obi-Wan. Now that’s a name I haven’t heard since before you were born”. I’m paraphrasing, but the basic idea is that no one has called him Obi-Wan since long before Luke was born. Yet not only is that not true, Obi-Wan was IN THE ROOM as Luke was being born, and he is called Obi-Wan DURING THAT SCENE!! And the one after. He’s called that right through to the end of the movie.
Normally this could be blown off as “nerds nitpicking”, but the things don’t match up are things that are very important stuff. It’s almost like Lucas hadn’t seen those movies since they were made.
The prequels are heavily flawed, but I still find them enjoyable. Episode III is very dramatic when the Jedis are executed. And though it’s been made fun of too death, I fund the shot of a hooded Anakin turning and his eye all messed up is pretty awesome. As is the Birth of Darth Vader scene. Considering the major significance of that scene, they did it near perfectly. Even Hayden’s bad acting doesn’t ruin it for me. In fact, Samuel L. Jackson’s acting is worse than Hayden’s in that scene. Anyway, when Anakin cuts off Mace’s hand and Palpatine shoots him with lightening, it’s truly terrifying, the look on his face.
There’s a very big thing about the prequels that everyone talks about that I have obviously avoided mentioning here thus far. I don’t want to talk about it, but since I brought it up, I may as well talk about the waterboarding justification known as Jar Ja–
No. I jus… I just can’t. I can’t. And I won’t. I still have a headache talking about what they did with Padme’s character. If I talk about that abomination, this will happen.